


Quiche So Good It'll Change Your Life

by Bramblepelt



Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Depression, Gen, TAZ Lady Week, please read the notes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-13
Updated: 2017-02-13
Packaged: 2018-09-24 01:36:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,268
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9694106
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bramblepelt/pseuds/Bramblepelt
Summary: Ren tries, and fails, and tries again.





	

**Author's Note:**

> A warning: There's a brief moment in this story where a symptom is mentioned that I always associated with my own struggle with depression, but my proof reader informed me it can also be read as suicidal ideation. If this is something that could be triggering to you, please skip this one! Take care of yourself! <3
> 
> TAZ Lady Week Day 1: Favorite Character

"It’s not right yet.” Ren sighed, fighting the urge to chew on her cheek. This was her third attempt at recreating the quiche she’d wanted so badly to master. Still it was too runny and the crust just wasn’t flaky, it just fell apart. “What am I missing?” she repeated the mantra that was consuming her mind since that celebrity chef showed up and just ruined her life. He was amazing and talented and charming and everything she now knew she wanted to be. Before that day food was something you had to have to keep pulling yourself through the drudgery of day to day life.

 

The sample of that quiche ruined everything. Now she got it. Now she understood why folks would pay so much gold for a specific type of cheese from those few and far between merchants. Ren looked back at those books from the Upside that had entire chapters devoted to describing platters of dishes she’d never heard of. It was the only thing she could think of all week. She had to recreate that quiche. 

 

The problem was the execution of what he had done. Cookbooks taught cooking. Magic books taught magic. There were no books about how to cook a gourmet dinner with transmutation magic. The man, Taako, hadn’t released a book yet, she had made sure to check into that.

 

“But hey I’ll come back with a signed copy of one just for you darling, how does that sound?” he had asked. Ren had replied with an embarrassing gurgle sound before moving out of the way for the next fan. Sometimes she would replay that moment in her head on repeat while staring at a burnt egg mess and feel like life was no longer worth the trouble and maybe she’d be better off mining in silence forever.

 

But that smell and taste and the feeling of inspiration would crawl back and it was much more powerful than any anxiety or shame could possibly be.

 

“I can do this.” she whispered. “There’s no way he started off a star, I’m sure even Taako messed up a whole bunch at first too! I just have to keep practicing. I can do this.” 

 

Two more attempts later was making her spirit show its cracks. Still the filling wasn’t fully cooked, now the crust had burnt and the smell just wasn’t the same either. The taste was abysmal. Ren returned again to her notes she had scribbled hurriedly right after the show. She tried hard as she could to remember every step, every comment, that she hadn’t forgotten a hand movement or ingredient.

 

Ingredient.

 

The  _ ingredients _ .

 

Of course! Taako had used ingredients he’d brought with him. Ren was using stuff she’d gathered from down here. And what was available down here was either fungus or food that had damn near reached spoiling point by the time it made its way on the back of a rickety wagon. She could practice the same recipe for 200 years and still her food would never match up to what she tasted that day so long as she was using subpar Underdark garbage ingredients.  

 

The realization was the breaking point. She found herself sitting on the floor by the old and dingy oven usually reserved for warming the home, unsure how long she’d been sitting there before feeling a sharp pain growing in her back. She couldn’t feel the motivation to move. 

 

“Maybe this is for the best.” she said to no one. “It’s better I figured all this out so quickly. Kill this before I got too invested. There’s no future for me in anything special. This was ridiculous.” She could feel herself slipping back into her old ways. The numbness that had become her daily reality was threatening to come back again. There wasn’t any point to it. What was she going to do anyway? Just make egg pies all day? And then what? Rip off Taako’s show? She felt overcome with guilt and disappointment in herself just thinking about it.This was a silly distraction and she couldn’t believe how deeply she had gotten into it.

 

The pie tin was visible from where she was sitting. Holding the burnt mush she had put so much heart into. Mocking her. The metal pan was actually mocking her. Had she any inclination to do anything she would shut it up right into the waste bin. Instead her gaze simply changed to the floor. Dark, a couple of cracks, the usual setup for an Underdark home. Some spiders here and there. Unavoidable. She wished sleeping came more naturally to elves. She felt she’d like to sleep now for a long time. 

 

What else could she do.

 

What else was she good for.

 

It’s not like she could just... _ leave _ .

 

That’s absurd.

 

Just leave?

 

This was home.

 

_ You need to _ .

 

I’m better off like this. This is for the best.

 

_ You’re never going to be happy. _

 

Happiness doesn’t pay rent.

 

_ Go up. _

 

And then what?

 

_ You make it work. _

 

This is ridiculous.

 

_ You have to, Ren. _

 

“I don’t have to do shit!” she screamed at no one, throwing the still warm tin into the wall. Ren found herself leaning over the small counter crying harder than she’d ever let herself before. She had no one here. Nothing of any value. She worked to live and lived for nothing in particular. That stupid damned taste of quiche was the first feeling of anything important or meaningful she’d experienced in years. Why did it have to be so fleeting?

 

_ It doesn’t have to be this way. _

 

She wiped away her tears.

 

_ What are you afraid of? _

 

Failing.

 

_ And what happens if you stay here? _

 

Nothing.

 

_ Which scares you more? _

 

She didn’t have an answer. A lump made it’s way down her throat. Her breathing steadied. She was afraid of what was up there. Not so much the scary stories parents tell tiny drow elves to keep them safe at home and not wandering up where orcs and dragons would eat them up. She feared the unknown. A completely different world up there she knew nothing about, except this one guy who came down and opened her eyes to an amazing life that was right there.

 

Right there.

 

_ It’s right up there. _

 

_ You have to. _

 

\-----

 

Sunlight was going to be a problem. Out of all the possibilities she had mentally prepared herself for, sunlight had not been one of them. For something that seemed so far away it sure did make your eyes burn. The air was another oddity. It smelled different and somehow felt different in a way she couldn’t describe except it made her dizzy. There was a surprising lack of spiders.

 

This was entirely too much. It was overwhelming. It wasn’t too late, she could turn around and go back and pretend this dumb idea never happened. Her feet continued forward without her, and as her mind cycled through anxious thought after thought she hardly noticed when she walked right into a small town. 

 

She smelled something amazing. Ren’s attention snapped back into reality. A bakery was only a few steps ahead of her. Gorgeous cakes and pies and cookies were displayed in a glass window. The detail in decorating and color design were breathtaking. As she walked closer to the shop she noticed a sign on the door. ‘Help Wanted’.

 

Sometimes in life you feel so lost and afraid that you could take anything you need to as an omen for where you go next. This was hers.

 

Ren took a deep breath and opened the shop door.


End file.
